The No BS Guide to What IVF is REALLY Like

To have and to hold... in sickness and in health... and injecting your wife with needles in order to have a baby.

Before we did the IVF process, I had the worst fear of needles. I will tell you from experience that nothing gets rid of your needle phobia quite like injecting yourself with hormones in an airport bathroom.

So, what is the IVF experience like? For me, it was a trial by fire.  Going through IVF is like another full-time job. During stimming (the injection of follicle stimulating hormones in order to increase the production of eggs) I was visiting the fertility clinic nearly every other day. 

On the first day of stims, a huge box came in the mail. I almost could not believe that all of this medication was for me!

There are 2-4 injections per day. The Gonal-F wasn't bad, but I heard nightmare stories about how much the Menopur burned. Eric must have done some sort of voodoo magic because I barely even felt it at all. There's nothing more romantic than bending over the kitchen counter so your husband can inject hormones into your tush. (Insert sarcasm here.)

After about 2 weeks of stimming and near-daily ultrasounds and blood draws (and when you also look about 7 months pregnant #fulloffollicles), it is time for egg retrieval. This is when you're sedated and the doctor uses another HUGE needle to withdraw all those beautiful eggs you've created.

This is also the time when your poor husband has to go to a private room with a huge stash of porn and a little cup.  (Nobody ever said IVF was romantic.)

It's then that the first wait begins. You wait for the embryologist (your little em-baby's first babysitter!) to call or email you with the daily update on how many embryos are developing. And, how many are healthy. We had 2 perfectly healthy embryos that went to the deep freezer.

{Baby's First Picture! This is what a 5-day old embryo looks like.}

At this point, you sit and wait to be able to start the transfer cycle. Our clinic likes patients to take a little rest to get rid of the hormones from stimming. 

Then you begin what I like to lovingly call hormone-hell. The doctor will put you on excessive amounts of estrogen. You will have hot flashes, nausea, and some serious mood swings. This is like the worst PMS of your entire life multiplied by 10. During this process, you're visiting the fertility clinic almost every other day for blood work and ultrasounds. They are checking your uterine lining. Never in my life did I ever think I'd become so obsessed with having a perfect uterine lining than during transfer month.

Eventually, when your lining has reached the perfect number (around 8, but not higher than 12)... you schedule transfer day. This is when you also begin progesterone in oil shots. Which sound just as wonderful as they truly are. (Injecting pure oil into your bum is NOT fun.)

 Transfer day is like Christmas and your birthday all wrapped into one! 

You and your husband go into a sterile room with bright lights and beeping machines while about 5 different people watch you get pregnant. 

{Some women wear lingerie when they get pregnant. We prefer hairnets and face masks!}

Then you begin the next waiting period. They call this time "Pregnant Unless Proven Otherwise." 

If everything goes well... you will have a wonderful, uneventful pregnancy that will end in the birth of your beautiful baby. 

If everything does not, you will try again. Because, deep down you know that going through all of the needle sticks... all of the procedures... all of the heartache will be worth it when you get to hold your beautiful baby in your arms.

{The day we found out we were pregnant. We miscarried one month later.}