Opening the Door {Puzzle Piece Fundraiser}

For months after we lost Will, I barely recognized myself. The girl who was once bubbly and outgoing had become withdrawn and bitter. For a long time, I believed I would never or could never feel joy again. Part of me believed that finding joy in the small things meant that I was somehow dishonoring this great loss we had experienced. In the days after we lost him, I moved all the furniture in our house. Somehow I thought if I could just make our house look different, maybe it wouldn't feel so empty.

That summer was hard; choosing to get up and out of bed became increasingly difficult. In mid-July, we made an impromptu trip to the Hoover Dam. Everything about that day felt special, somehow. Perhaps because it was so unplanned. But, looking out over the beautiful view was the first moment I had where I felt like I could close the door to that darkness.

Losing Will was harder than the years of infertility. Losing Will was harder than the three miscarriages. Losing Will was harder than every doctor's appointment and needle prick I endured for our IVF cycle. But, I would experience that loss again and again if it meant we could hold him and kiss him one more time. Closing the door on the life we thought we'd have with Will was hard. It was the hardest thing I ever did.

When I closed that door, I thought it would remain firmly shut... I thought we'd never open the door to adoption again. But, I realized... sometimes God has other plans. This new journey through adoption feels different than our first journey. We're hoping and believing that the doors will just keep opening for us.

Fundraiser: Puzzle Pieces

Eric and I came up with the idea of selling pieces of a puzzle for $10/piece. You can buy as many or as few pieces as you'd like. It could not have been more perfect that I found a puzzle with doors all over it. When you purchase a puzzle piece, every penny of your purchase will go towards funding our updated home study and adoption. We will write your name (or if you live in Vegas, you can write the name yourself!) on the back of the puzzle piece. We will tell our child the story of each person who helped bring them home.

You can donate to our Go Fund Me page here:
https://www.gofundme.com/jarvis-family-private-adoption 

Thank you so much for your support of our family!